Media: Distinctive Occasions Interviewed for Buffalo Brides Magazine

We were pleased to be asked to contribute to a recent article on wedding planning in Buffalo Brides Magazine - here is the article!

The wedding planning puzzle

Fitting the pieces together to create your perfect day

By Erin Morris

Planning a wedding is no easy feat. The joy of being newly engaged can be soon eclipsed by dread as you realize the
enormous task before you. A plan of action makes the process easier, but with so many details to handle and so many decisions to make, the challenge is knowing where to begin.

It’s the age-old “what comes first” question.  Is it setting the date? Creating the guest list? Choosing your venue? Or establishing your budget?

Local wedding planner Dawn Schregel, owner of Distinctive Occasions LLC in Amherst, suggests starting with the big picture and working your way down to the details.

First, establish your overall “vision.”

“Discuss the style and feel, what you’re looking to get out of the day and what aspects are most important to you,” said Schregel. 

Your vision will include things like whether you see it as a day or evening celebration; whether you want something large and festive or small and intimate; and the level of formality (casual beach wedding or black-tie dinner)?

Once you’ve established the overall feel, Schregel said that budgeting is the next step.

Newlywed Christina Warren of Tonawanda agrees. “The budget definitely puts things into perspective for any couple planning a wedding,” she said. “You can narrow down what seems like an endless amount of choices to a few that are manageable.”

It may not seem romantic, but creating a budget will ensure that you start off on the right foot financially.

“You really need to know where the funds are coming from, who will pay for what, the division of expenses,” said Schregel.  “That’s something you want to figure out before you start thinking about how many guests you’re going to have, or going to visit venues.”

Once you know what you have to work with, the next step is setting your priorities.

“I sometimes tell couples to make a list of non-negotiables,“ said Schregel. Discuss what elements of the wedding are most important to you. For some couples, it’s the music – they wouldn’t dream of getting married without their favorite 10-piece band.  For others it’s a certain restaurant or menu.

Then – if your heart is set on serving surf-and-turf and top-shelf liquor – you can start making adjustments to accommodate your budget, like forgoing the designer gown or high-profile photographer.

“In the planning stages it is very easy to get carried away with all of the excitement,” said Warren. By setting a budget up front, “you will be able to figure out what you are willing or able to spend, and what accommodations or changes you need to make [in order] to have your dream wedding.”

Establishing a budget early on will also help you make other big decisions – like how many guests you’ll invite. For most couples, food and beverage costs are the largest single wedding expense – so the more guests you invite, the greater your costs.  The size of your guest list will also help you narrow down your venue choices. If you decide on 300 guests, for instance, you’ve ruled out a lot of possibilities right off the bat. 

It’s at this point when you’ll want to start considering the date.  If you lock it in too early, keep in mind that you may lose out on the ceremony site or reception location you want.

And remember to always keep Plan B in mind.

“Usually things don’t go terribly wrong,” said Schregel, “but sometimes dates are already booked, venues close or vendors go out of business, these things happen.”

Don’t “throw away all of your research once the big decisions are made,” added Warren. “You never know what will happen.”

There is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding, but oftentimes, when certain decisions are made before others, plans can go awry.

Sometimes brides and grooms “get a little bit ahead of themselves,” said Schregel. “Booking vendors before you set a budget, choosing a date before finalizing a location, doing things like that can make the planning more difficult than it needs to be.“

No matter what roadblocks you may hit or how stressful the planning process may seem, the most important thing is to not get overwhelmed. Once the big decisions are made, everything else will fall into place.

Above all, Schregel advises to “make it fun. It’s all about you as a couple. Keep in perspective what this day is, it’s your wedding and should be all about the celebration of you as a couple. If you take it slowly and don’t stress about the little things, the planning will be much more enjoyable.”

Outdoor Wedding Ceremony Locations in Buffalo

We have had a lot of clients lately asking us to assist with options for outdoor wedding ceremonies in the downtown Buffalo area.  Here are some good options to consider:

West Side Rowing Club/Frank Lloyd Wright Boathouse
Located at the foot of Porter Avenue right on the waterfront, there is an outdoor space that can accommodate a wedding ceremony.  There is enough room to have it under a tent as well if you desire.  For more information, contact Sharon @ 716-362-3140.  http://www.wrightsboathouse.org/

The Jacobs Center (formerly the Butler Mansion)
This beautiful mansion on Delaware and North Streets has an outdoor courtyard which can be used for wedding ceremonies.  There are multiple options on the grounds for a ceremony - the lawn can seat up to 150 people, the area by the gazebo can seat approximately 100, and the stairs on the North Street side seats approximately 50-75 people.  The inside of the mansion is used as a backup in case of rain.  You can also choose to have your cocktail hour at the venue and then move on to a reception at another location.  They do also hold wedding receptions.  For more information, call 716-645-2344.

Delaware Park Rose Garden
The rose garden can seat up to 200 people for an outdoor ceremony, and can be booked by calling the Olmsted Parks Conservancy at 716-886-0088.  There are also other locations in Delaware Park that are not "private", and you can hold your ceremony anywhere in the Park that you would like (as long as you don't mind the possible interruptions or uninvited guests!)

Japanese Gardens
The Japanese Gardens are located behind the Albright Knox Art Gallery.  It is a vast space, and you can hold a wedding ceremony wherever you would like on the grounds.  If you require seating, you do need to bring in and set up rental chairs.  This space can be booked by calling the Olmsted Parks Conservancy at 716-886-0088.

Buffalo Parks
There are numerous parks around the City where you can hold an outdoor ceremony.  For more information, contact Arlene at the Parks and Recreation Department at 716-851-9670.

There are also some nice locations where you can have an outdoor ceremony, but you are usually required to book your reception there as well...

Twentieth Century Club
The Twentieth Century Club is private, so you do need to be sponsored by a member to hold your wedding here.  It is an exquisite Mansion located on Delaware Avenue done in an Italian Renaissance style.  There is a gorgeous courtyard in the back where ceremonies are held.  Brides make their grand entrance down a dramatic staircase leading to the aisle.  Here are some photos from a recent wedding we coordinated at the location.

Templeton Landing Restaurant
Templeton Landing is located right on the water in the Erie Basin Marina, and they have two outdoor ceremony locations.  Ceremonies can be held on their rooftop patio or on the grass alongside the restaurant.  Here are some photos from a recent wedding we coordinated at this location...

For more information, call 716-852-7337 or visit their website at http://www.templetonlanding.com/directions.php

Happy planning!

Confetti: To Toss or not to Toss

Many of our brides question whether to partake in the age-old tradition of the bouquet toss at their wedding receptions.  Most of our brides this year are deciding to forego this tradition and consider alternatives. 

The history of the bouquet toss goes back to fourteenth century France, where guests viewed a bride as especially lucky on her wedding day, and would clamour to tear off pieces of her dress for their own good fortune.  Eventually, brides began to rebel against this practice and tossed their garters to guests, and later, their bouquets.

While there is something to be said for tradition, some people prefer not to call out all their single friends to catch the bouquet in the hopes that the one who catches it will be the next to marry.  Here are some alternatives to consider:

1.  The Anniversary Dance - This is a dance for all married couples at the wedding.  During the song, the emcee asks people who have been married less than a certain number of years to leave the dance floor.  The couple who has been married the longest remains and is given the bride's bouquet.

2.  Have a "dance off" for the bouquet - invite males & females to the dance floor for a dance off.  Form a circle in the middle of the dance floor where guests dance one by one in the middle.  The dancer who wins the most admiration from the crowd or from the bride & groom gets the bouquet.

3.  Give the bouquet to a special female in your life to honor them.

4.  Do the bouquet toss, but open it up to anyone (single or in a relationship) who wants to participate.  As a fun extra incentive, offer a prize such as cash, a restaurant gift certificate or a spa package!

5.  Keep it!

Confetti: Wedding Gratuities

As we are approaching the busy wedding season, I thought it would be a good time to share some thoughts and advice on tipping all those service providers who work so hard to make your wedding day a success.

Some things to consider:

• First and foremost, you should keep in mind that a gratuity is a discretionary expression of gratitude for service that exceeds expectations.
• In general, if a vendor owns their own business, you would not normally tip them unless you feel they have gone above and beyond for you.
• Gratuities are often included in the bill or contract, so be sure to read carefully to avoid double-tipping.

The following is a general guideline to get you started thinking about wedding day gratuities:

• Limousine Driver:  15-20% of the total bill
• DJ:  $50 and up
• Clergy Member (priest, minister, rabbi):  Usually a donation ($75 and up)
• Public official (judge, city clerk, etc.):  Usually a flat fee ($75 and up), although some will not accept it
• Waiters, Waitresses, Bartenders, Banquet Captain, Banquet Manager:  15% for servers, 15-20% for captain/manager, 10-15% for bartenders
• Coatroom Attendants:  $1 per guest (or pre-arrange a flat fee with your venue)
• Parking Attendants $1 per guest (or pre-arrange a flat fee with your venue) 
• Photographer, Videographer, Wedding Coordinator, Florist, Baker:  Only for extra-special service
• Organist, Musicians:  $20-$25 each
• Hair and Makeup Stylists:  15-20% of the total bill

If you have a wedding coordinator, they can distribute gratuities on your wedding day. Our clients provide us with sealed envelopes at the wedding rehearsal, and we take care of this for them. If we feel that a vendor has not met or exceeded expectations, we may choose to advise our clients of this and adjust the tip accordingly. If a vendor they may not have considered tipping does an extraordinary job, we make sure to advise them of this as well. If you don't have a wedding coordinator, you can give this job to a trusted member of the bridal party.

Wedding Ceremony Tip

If you are getting married soon, you may want to keep this important piece of advice in mind. Your left hand should be free of your engagement ring during the wedding ceremony so that your wedding band can be placed on your left ring finger, closest to your heart. If you can't bear to part with your engagement ring, you can simply wear it on your right hand for the ceremony, then put it back where it belongs afterwards. Or, you can have a family member or close friend keep it safe for you. Just another one of the endless details to consider! :)

{Photo from The Knot}

Congratulations Newly Engaged Couples!

If you are one of the lucky people who received an engagement ring for Valentine's Day or over the holidays - congratulations! You are embarking upon an exciting (and sometimes stressful) time. Here's a good plan for getting started:

{Photo}

1. Hire a Wedding Coordinator - Yes, I know what you're thinking....of course she would say this since she is a wedding coordinator! But honestly, a coordinator can be your biggest asset when planning a wedding. They can save you time, money, and help you to avoid costly mistakes. Although a coordinator can assist at any stage of the planning process, you will get the most monetary value out of the relationship if you involve one from the beginning. We offer hourly consultations for couples who need a push in the right direction but plan to do most of the planning themselves. A coordinator is a very valuable investment in your wedding.

2. Discuss the overall style and feel of the wedding. Do you want a formal, black-tie affair, or a casual BBQ? Discuss what is most important to you as a couple and how you see the day unfolding in general.

3. Choose a preferred month for your wedding. Try to keep an open mind with dates, since your preferred venue may not be available for your selected date. Also take into consideration holidays, vacation days and school schedules.

4. Set a budget. There are many templates you can find online. But how do you know how much these items should actually cost in your market? A coordinator is a great resource for this as well.

5. Choose a venue. There are many great venues in Buffalo. Make sure the venue you are considering is within your budget and fits the overall style of your wedding.

Get ready for an exciting ride!

Wedding Tips and Tricks: Wedding Websites

Many of my couples ask me if I think they should make a wedding website. There are many benefits to doing so. You can include details about the wedding including travel and lodging information, share your stories and photos, link to gift registries, and even take electronic RSVPs. Here are a few tips...

Selecting a site - There are many templates available online, both free and paid. Some free ones to consider are The Knot, EWedding, and Wedding Channel. A paid site I like is Wedding Window.

Tell your story - Make the website unique and representative of you as a couple. Include stories and photos to reflect your personalities and help people better understand you as a couple.

Travel - Be sure to include information on hotels and any special rates/room blocks along with links to the hotel websites. I advise couples to give guests a few hotel options at varying price points if possible. This doesn't mean that you have to set up room blocks at multiple hotels, but at least give them information on other nearby hotels so that they can choose.

Local Points of Interest - Some of the best wedding websites I've seen include information on local attractions and things guests can do in their down time. Share restaurant recommendations and tidbits about your city.

Privacy - Remember that whatever information you put out there can be viewed by anyone. Be selective about what you include unless your site is password protected.

RSVP Option - In today's electronic world, this is a great feature and helps make it easier on the procrastinators and people who just don't return their reply cards. It will make your life easier, because you won't have to chase people down for a response.

How to tell guests about your website - It really isn't proper etiquette to include the website on your wedding invitation. A great place for this is on the Save-the-Date card or on maps and travel information that you send out.